I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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