I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
