haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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