i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I wear drunk well.
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