she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
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I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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