Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize