So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
