____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
this just has baby written all over it
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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