I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I've blown a few things in my day
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
