I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
