I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
