I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
