honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
whose parrot is this?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
