how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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