she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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