I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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