Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
