You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Randomize
