I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
