So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
