Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
