Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
