butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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