Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
