wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
ugly people sure do ruin things
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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