Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
