i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
