if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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