Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
