My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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