My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
