well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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