so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
