Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
wanna go halves on a baby?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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