...so i touched it.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
People in love make me want to vomit
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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