Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Hippo gnu deer
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
