have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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