Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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