i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
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I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
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This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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