I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
