um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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