butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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