Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
