xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
