ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
