Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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