Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
