Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
