Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
