North Korea, Best Korea!
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Randomize
