Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
