seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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