We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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