you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
