Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
