ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
