Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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