But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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