you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
