he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
