Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Randomize
