I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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