I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize