btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
