i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
