There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
