1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
her facebook's as public as her vagina
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
