My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize