Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
