no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
