it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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