Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
