i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
